I have not written a blog in the longest time so I thought I would attempt to start giving a synopsis of the last month and a half of my life. This is going to be a blog of many blogs, kind of like chapters in a book. I will give and keep updates on my daily activities as well as the surgeries I undergo. On October 30, 2009, I had gone to school to meet with a professor about an upcoming exam. After meeting with her I walked to my car and while in the crosswalk I was run over by a pickup truck. I will not go into the gory details of what happened to me, except that I suffered a severe trauma to my right calf, a carpal fracture, and a big bump on my head. I still don’t know all of the details about the accident, except that the driver received a DUI. I don’t know if he was drunk or if he got the DUI because he refused to take the breathalyzer, but we shall see. Either way I find it ironic that an ex junkie gets hit by someone who was drinking and driving. I am fortunate that he stopped though. I have found many positives out of this entire situation, but it has also been a struggle. I can say that my addiction is still in existence and it is still a struggle. I also am well aware that I have true friends in my life and that I know where to go and who to go to when I am in need of support and/or advice. Well this is just the beginning of my journey of this accident and the effects it has had on my body, spirit, and mind. Until next time

So….I’ve been sick for a while now. Sick as a dog, and sometimes so sick at night that I cry wondering how I’m going to get up and face it all again the next day.

My oh-so-sweet husband is always there to comfort me, but nonetheless I still find it hard to get up and go sometimes on those very sick mornings. I go to work, sometimes switching from one job to another in one day, head to school, and drive myself crazy worrying about midterms and finals and research papers. And making sure I get enough “balanced” food into my diet so my baby grows healthy and strong in this ever-growing belly of mine. Maybe that doesn’t seem like much, but to me, whilst I go about my daily activities, all the while thinking about where the nearest exit is in case I get sick, it’s quite overwhelming. And let me tell you, being a former bulimic and having the perma-flu is NOT easy. SO, I get overwhelmed easily. The house cleaning has gone out the window, along with the dinner cooking, which left along with the grocery shopping and plant watering. When I get home, I plop down, try to squeeze in some homework, and try to remember to lie on my left side . So, as you can imagine, searching for hours for doctors, midwives, and researching practices and statistics was a little hard to do, although very important for my healthy baby.

And then last week my sister came into town. She’s 2 years younger than me, was married before me, and had her first baby before I did. I really look up to her and often find myself wondering what she would do if she were in my shoes.

Among her talents are an eye for creative design, a knack for baby-naming, and being bossy. All of these talents were very much beneficial to me during her trip. While she was in town, I learned a thing or two from her---Again. She got straight to work when she was here, helping me with homework, looking at baby names from a gazillion websites, making lists of needed baby supplies, setting up everything I would need to have my baby. Even called and made a doctor’s appointment for me. I was overwhelmed before I realized why I shouldn’t be.

I didn’t have to do this ALL of this…… by myself. I had help. And I NEED help. I kept telling myself I was strong and I could do it, and I’d HAVE to do it, because after all, I’m going to be a mom soon and I needed to be able to take on responsibilities that seem overwhelming. But then I let my sister be bossy, and I let her make an appointment, and pick out my insurance, and write down all the ins and outs of being a mom and finding discounts on baby supplies, and help me find baby names.

And I realized I’m not alone and never will be. My family, my God, and my friends are always there, always willing to be bossy and helping me get on track to where I need to be.

I’m not what you would call “computer literate”. Or “technologically sound”, which is why I’ve been a coordinator for 3 months and haven’t blogged yet. Well, here I am, after much help and encouragement. I’m told to talk about life and the recent goings-on of my day to day. So here goes:
This weekend I lost my little brothers half boxer, half basset hound puppy. So maybe I’m not “responsible” either. The only problem with that is that at this very moment I am 17½ weeks pregnant, and feeling “irresponsible” and losing a dog is more traumatizing than it would be to someone at my current stage of life.
My family was heading out of town, so my husband and I thought we could have the opportunity to keep Jazzy company so she wouldn’t miss them so much. We brought her home, played with her, and took her to the park as often as possible. Well, when coming back in from one of these trips, the door was not shut tightly, so while we were showering she took off and never looked back. She’s a VERY social animal, so initially we KNEW she’d be at the park, greeting every human or four legged creature with a big slobbery kiss. But, to our horror, NO ONE had seen her but a little old woman who thought she saw her running down the street. I tried to stay calm, but immediately thought of my heartbroken little brother’s face when I told him the news, and instantly started to sob. I prayed over and over that someone nice and kind and honest would find her, whether we were able to or not. And then I kept sobbing.
An hour and a half later (the longest hour and a half of my LIFE), my husband drove up with Jazzy’s head (and mostly tongue) hanging out the passenger side window. I cried some more. I said a prayer of thanks.
I’m so grateful for honest and kind and nice people. And I’m grateful my brother came home and had his best friend to greet him when he walked in the door.
For the next hour, I panicked to my husband. “WHAT IF WE DON’T SHUT THE DOOR AND OUR BABY CRAWLS OUT?!” We’re installing bolt locks and automatic doors as soon as finances permit.