I took my friend to the Suns game on Friday night and after the game we went to a hotel that has a DJ every Friday night and it is a lounge setting with break dancers. We sat down and watched a guy break dance and it sparked my interests even more. I have been wanting to break dance for the longest time, but no one I meet ever teaches it or knows where I can learn. This particular individual we talked to does instruct at a community center every week. This excited me beyond belief. I officially made the decision to make time during the week to begin to learn how to break dance and get into even better shape. This is also what life is about. If you have stayed current with my blogs, you may remember that I once stated that going out for coffee and food with friends and enjoying good conversation is what life is about. Well I found more activities that lead to what life is really about and it is exciting. I am coming back. I was down and out for about a month but I am finding my balance again and I am almost completely back on track. I just need to finish this essay for a class and I will be good. I am also going to try painting for the first time too, I will let you know how that goes. I also want to state something really significant someone said to me yesterday. I was talking to one of my best friends about a class and how I will have to most likely take two Cs this semester and how I have never done that and it is going to significantly lower my GPA. Her response was a question: she asked if I was going to use over it. Meaning was I going to get high because of it. I immediately said “no way” and her response to that was to not worry about it then. She said it is life and no one is perfect. Wow did that make me feel better. It is hard having extremely high expectations and not meeting them, when you have become accustomed to meeting them every time in the past. That is what I will leave you with today.

Guess what? I went to the Arizona State Fair this weekend with my mom. I know she enjoys Bob Dylan’s music and he happened to be performing Saturday night. I thought it would be a nice experience for the both of us. We were both expecting to hear some of his older music, but the entire concert was his newer stuff. We were both not too happy about that, but we made the best of it. We walked around the fair and shared some quality mother daughter time. We walked in the exhibition room and ended up sitting down and watching a hour and a half presentation on some American made cookware. Well again…guess what? I bought a set. Yes, I did! I spent $1800.00 dollars on pots and pans and you want to know what really rocks? Usually when someone spends a lot of money and tells someone about it they usually receive some form of criticism for spending that much money OR someone tells them how they have that product and it was a waste of their time and money. Everyone I told had no idea what it was and when I briefly explained why I was so willing to spend so much on it, no one objected. I am definitely not used to spending large amounts of money on anything, but this was my treat to me and my mom. I am going to share some of the pots with her or just give her a few to use, because I will not need all of them. I am excited because my weight has always been an issue for me, well at least since I got clean a little over 4 years ago and this is the perfect way to eat healthy and hearty meals full of vitamins and antioxidants. I also think it is amazing that the company is green, which means that they did not leave a carbon footprint while making the product. For those of you that do not know what that means…it means that they did not use hazardous waste and materials to produce the product and did not use harmful gases to heat anything and basically steered clear of anything harmful to the planet and humans while producing everything. It is also awesome that I don’t need water to cook my vegetables and I won’t need a lot of electricity. This means that I can have a home cooked meal everyday if I wanted to and maintain my health and eat delicious gourmet food as often as I make time to. This was money well spent and I am not going to have buyer’s remorse about it, because in the long run it is doing more for me than what I paid for, well…if I use it.

Last Saturday I called a good friend of mine because I was beyond stressed and needed a friend. We talked briefly and she told me I should join her at a world peace meditation at her Buddhist Monastery Sunday morning. So I got up early and met her there. It was a wonderful experience to be able to focus on positivity and being calm. Unfortunately it was also difficult for me to do because of how tense I was and all of the things that were running through my mind at the time. After the meditation we sat down with another friend of hers and drank tea and had a nice conversation. Shortly after that we met at a coffee shop downtown and enjoyed another good conversation. I can say that I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have the friends that I have today. When I am feeling down and out I actually know that I have someone to go to for support. I never had that in my active addiction. I also find it interesting how people think because I am in recovery and I am doing fine with my life that everything is okay. Well I am here to be completely honest with all of you and tell you that everything is not okay all of the time. Is my life horrible and unmanageable? No, but do I still have to deal with daily life struggles and learn lessons the hard way? Of course I do. Every now and again has the thought of just getting high to fix my problem occurred? Yes it has, but at the same time as I have said many times…I have consequential thinking and I don’t like not accomplishing something to the best of my ability. Drugs are no longer a part of my life for a reason. They have not done a single good thing for me, unless I look at how I am able to hopefully prevent many people from experiencing the same horrors I did at one time in my life. The reason for this blog is to let anyone who reads this know to be appreciative of the true friends you have and that drugs never solve problems for anyone at any time. Well this is my little blog/venting opportunity. Thanks to whoever reads this and gets something from it. Have an awesome day!