This weekend, I went to Flagstaff with my great friend Natalie. She met me at my house; we jumped in my car, threw the dog and our clothes in the back seat, and took off to the nearest gas station to fill up on fuel (fuel for the car and fuel for us…that means caffeine and protein bars). In less than two hours and thirty minutes, we arrived to our destination – a log cabin nudged back in the woods. The air smelled like pine.

That evening, after unpacking our things, we went on a long walk through the trails of the forest, collecting pine cones and tossing them for the dog to chase throughout our journey. It was nice being away from noise…the noise of cell phones, of traffic, or television, and car radios. It was nice to listen to all of that quiet, and hear what God made – nature in the raw. The only things my ears could catch hold of were the crunching of pine needles under our feet, the rustling of the wind through the tree branches, and the occasional chirp of a few birds…but mostly, it was quiet.

I think I need a little more quiet in my life. I drive without the car radio on. I prefer listen to the sound of the air zip through my window. I don’t even have television. That’s right! I don’t even get basic cable…it’s just too much noise for me. And the longer I’m alive, the more I live and learn and love reality for what it is, the less I feel as though I need to lose myself in the sounds of ruckus to make my days feel more exciting than yesterday’s…

Sometimes, the best days are the days that are full of free space, free time, and quiet.

-Rachel Curry, July 2009

Last night I went to my second job and it was a relatively slow night. I went to my near by Starbucks when I finished closing and I was asked if I knew a particular individual. I said of course and that I had worked with him a number of times. My friend continues talking and said that he had his shift covered last night and he shot his ex-girlfriend and then himself. I thought it was a joke at first. I was completely shocked. This is a reality beyond belief. I didn’t even know what to do with that. It actually threw me off a little bit. I mean I hear about people being shot or dying all the time in the news, but you never really think about it until someone you know does. It is a scary reality and something new for me to deal with, especially in recovery. I have known people who have overdosed in the past and while I was active in my addiction, but never in my recovery. It is a trip, because it is someone I used to work with on an almost daily basis and someone that I saw at least 3 times a week. I didn’t know him very well, but I knew things about him and I have talked to him a number of times. It made me think about whether or not I could handle something like this happening in my future career and how I would handle it. It really stopped me in my foot steps. About an hour ago I heard that Michael Jackson was taken to the hospital and now it was confirmed that he has died. That is three celebrities in 2 days: Ed MacMamon, FArrah Faccet, and Michael Jackson. Something bizarre is going on with the universe right now and it is kind of creeping me out. This is reality and I am facing more and more on a regular basis. There are so many new things I am experiencing today and every single one has been a difficult challenge for me to work with. One day at a time is the only way I can take anything right now and that fact has been brought to my attention more and more as the days pass. Just remember to always take everything at face value and never underestimate anyone or anything. Love yourself and make sure you always appreciate everything you have in life, because you never know when you may lose it.

So my mother and my sister have not been talking for the past few months because my mom was showing her some much needed tough love. On Father’s day my sister came to the house and my mom and her talked a lot of things out. It became a very emotional day for all three of us. I finally had the chance to tell her how I found it not cool that she never calls or texts me to see how I am doing, but instead I am the one who always contacts her and I rarely get something in return. So we all talked and had a very emotional evening that turned out really well. Everyone got a lot off of our chests. Last night my sister came over after she got out of work and hung out with my mom and I. we again had a really awesome conversation. We mainly talked about the stock market and 401Ks, but we tapped into the war in Iraq among other things too. It is nice getting to know my sister again and hopefully she will soon realize that her family is the only thing she can always fall back on. I told her the day she realizes I am the only friend that will never screw her over and that I am the only person who will always have her back is the day she will realized how much she has grown and matured. That is the day I will be a super happy sister. She is my life and she doesn’t quite understand that yet. We argue and disagree on a lot of various things, but she is my sister, my blood, and nothing can or ever will change that. We still have the basic sisterly arguments and competitiveness, but that is something that we are both working on individually and will overcome sooner than later. I will keep everyone posted on our relationship and hopefully how consistent it will stay from here on out. We decided to make time once every week to hang out and spend sisterly time together. I think that will be awesome too. I highly encourage everyone young and old to do exactly the same thing. Family is all you have today so make it worthwhile before you create a regret you will never let down.