So last night I went to a viewing of the Anasaszi Program that I had a chance to attend a few weeks ago. I had a blast because right after it was over I saw some of the people I met on the trail. I had wanted to make a knife while I was there, but I didn’t have the necessary tools and product to make it. So I set up a date to make this knife and I will most likely make a flute as well. I am beyond excited. The child became alive in me again. It was such an awesome renewal. I love my life and I just now am beginning to realize that I am a creator inside and that I need to hold onto that part of me. It was an awesome realization and I need to stop pushing that feeling away. In recovery I have realized that I have a lot more talents and gifts then I give myself credit for. I used to play the guitar and because drugs became my life I stopped playing it. I still have my guitar and I have had it for 8 years. It sits in my room and I walk by it everyday. Do I play it? NO should I start playing it again? YES I have also realized that anything I put effort into I can do. If I want something badly enough I will get it. I also happen to be very stubborn at times and I am aware of this and I know that I need to drop my ego. Being creative is like a party inside me. That is the only way I know how to explain it, because I turn into a completely different person and I love it. It is so awesome. I love to play and do things that make me feel useful and productive and I can actually do them now. Life can be a party of CREATIVITY all the time and it is up to me to make it possible.

Have any of you ever been to a MMA fight (mixed martial arts)? I have! I went for the very first time this last weekend. It was called the Rage in the Cage and it was at US Airways Arena. I went to go see Rico Rodriguez. He was the past heavyweight champ of the UFC when he was only 19! I heard him speak on the radio about how he started hanging out with the wrong people and got into drugs and alcohol. He was recently on the show Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. He mentioned he has been sober now for 16 months. That is awesome. So me and a few other sober buddies went to cheer him on. It was a good time. Tickets were only $25.00 and they were great seats. I was a little nervous that there might be the type of guys there that might pick a fight for no reason. But no one started any fights with me. So I was really glad that nothing like that happened. Being able to go to an event like that and not being tempted or afraid that I may drink means a lot to me. I was afraid that when I got sober I would not be able to do normal things, that I would have to stay away from alcohol completely. Thanks to AA I have grown and changed on the inside so that I can do anything I want as long as I am in a good place emotionally.
After that night I can also see that I have changed and grown in the bullying area as well. I think Alcoholics Anonymous has helped me with this as well. I used to not go to events like this or put myself in situations that I thought might be dangerous. I used to be afraid that I might do something stupid in a stupid situation. But I am a different person today and I have learned to trust myself more. On top of that I don’t do as much stupid stuff. I believe it is because I am more humble today and less selfish.

Good solid friends that are forward thinking with great values are irreplaceable and their positive effect is limitless. I say this as I prepare for an upcoming trip back to my hometown of Minneapolis. I am going to celebrate an old friends birthday and I am just beaming with excitement. In everyone's busy lives, especially after school is over, sometimes it is hard to stay connected. I was fortunate enough to have some really incredible people in my life while I was growing up and most of them remain to this day. Things, standards, priorities and motivators, in our lives, have changed drastically but there are many constants. I wish I could say it was intentional, that I sought out these amazing people that remain in my life currently, but I am unable to do that. At the time in my life when I met most of these great friends I was not always making conscious good decisions. I guess it becomes normal to relate being under 18 with either not thinking through decisions, not caring or just flat out making poor decisions. Well if that was the norm, I was a correct statistic. I guess what I am trying to say is, if at all possible, be conscious of the friends you choose to entertain. I got lucky back then but I have learned from it and I go out of my way to be conscious about the individuals that I choose to entertain today. Also, if you happen to be under 18 and do make a conscious decision to choose your friends wisely, POWER TO YA, POWER TO YOU!!!! The impact that forward thinking people with positive goals (that stay focused on those goals) have is just day brightening. I could never count the times I have been pulled out of a dark tunnel by a forward thinking friend who consoled me by simply reminding me of a positive personal goal I hadn't yet reached. Or could never count how many out loud belly laughs and exhausted facial muscles I've had from smiling so big when we achieve those goals and blissful moments together. Like I said, be picky and you will not be disappointed. I know I haven't been.