My recent car accident is probably going to be fought between my insurance company and the man who hit me. And it is really starting to affect me.
To recap, I wrecked my father’s driveway, I wrecked his client’s car, and I am going to need his help for this insurance claim. I was feeling pretty poorly about myself about all of this. It started with me feeling like an idiot for ruining the driveway, then I felt like a horrible driver, and that I don’t care or I am disrespectful of other people’s property. From there it morphed into feeling like I am a horrible son.
To get myself to stop thinking so negatively, I have to actively stop those thoughts and start looking at the reality of the situation instead of what I expect to happen or what I am afraid is going to happen. For example, my dad did not get mad about the driveway because he knew it was something that I had no clue would happen and did not expect. It was not because I was being careless or did not care what happened to his driveway. It was an honest mistake.
As far as the car accident, my father knows I am a safe driver because I have never been in an accident before. It was literally impossible for me to see the guy coming because he was coming from the wrong way and I had a big truck next to me that I could not see through. The fact that these bad things happened does not make me a bad person. In fact, they should give me a chance to reflect on how good a person I really am.
When my thinking gets out of control in a negative place, I do two things. First, I think of the very best case scenario that could possibly happen. Second, I think about what is the very worst thing that could happen. Next, I think of what is the exact middle possibility of the best/worst case scenario. This is usually what ends up happening, and that reality gives me a more realistic expectation of the situation.
Sometimes we can all let our brains spin out of control. Sometimes it is feeling bad about ourself, sometimes it is a work or school situation, and a lot of the time it is about a girl or boy situation. We can really drive ourselves nuts and even make a situation worse by doing this. I am so glad that I am sober today and have tools that I can use as well as good friends who are willing to listen to help me overcome these negative ways of thinking.