Tomorrow is Halloween! I kind of can’t believe how fast this year went by. There were spots that I truly believed would last forever (the weeks after a break up, and the days when the car air-conditioning is broken), and there were others that flew by as fast as Poptarts out of a toaster (when a friend’s birthday party just can’t seem to last long enough, or when a good book seems to end before it starts). If I could be anything for Halloween, I’d be a clock. After all, I’ve already got two hands
I’ve learned that most of the people I know in this world spend most of their time planning things, and then reminiscing over them. But very few people that I knew spend very much time actually living life while it is happening. Haven’t you ever been really pumped to “get away” on a vacation? I’ve put hours into booking travel plans, anticipating the relaxing sunsets of the beach, dreaming of the quiet air of a hotel room, and holding my breath for room service so I can be my own little Queen for a week. While I waste useful hours of the day, hours that could be used for smelling the flowers outside my window, walking my dog through an undiscovered park, trying sushi of a different kind, I waste tons, TONS, of energy projecting my thoughts and emotions into the future…a place that doesn’t even exist yet. This is really insane, if you think about it. After all, if I learned how to relax right now, by enjoying the quiet air of my bedroom, if I knew how to “get away” right now, by relaxing at the coffee shops that face the sunsets of Camelback Mountain, then I wouldn’t need to frantically plan away my life into hypothetical dreams. I could actually exist.
I suppose it all comes down to the “If Only” syndrome. Most people are born with it, but don’t know it. It goes something like this: If only I had ____, then I’d be happy. The reason it makes us so ill, is that this silly little lie is never ending, and it keeps us from existing, like I was talking about earlier. If we don’t learn how to treat the “If Only” syndrome, then we’re likely to keep planning and running around forever, like poodles on Redbull, who are never able to sit down and love, listen, or watch that darn sunset.
-Rachel C., October 2008